The weather outside is not frightful, as of today. I think Georgia annually forgets to fill her normality prescription when it comes to the weather, among other things. We also have people who hang rebel flags from their truck beds and say things like, “The South will rise again.” In response, one has to wonder, if the South rises, will it not then be technically the North?
These are the things that the residents of our grand state have obviously not considered.
Also, I have a confession to make.
Sometimes, at public establishments with single-unit restrooms, when the women’s is occupied, I am terribly tempted to use the men’s instead. I mean, honestly. How picky can a person be about gender-assigned locations when it comes to these kinds of things? If I am on the brink of a mid-restaurant pants-wetting, exactly how concerned do you think I am with that little man-shaped stick figure on the door? I hope you see the logic in my words. The only potential downside is the faces you may encounter on the way out. That could be awkward.
Furthermore, I swallow my gum. Often. Usually this is for one of the following reasons:
A. I am riding in an enclosed vehicle with other people, I have no scrap paper on hand, and I am too sheepish to crack the window and toss the offending wad out onto the wayside. This sheepishness is heightened if I am sitting in the backseat, where any change in cabin pressure causes a thundering wind tunnel effect on the whole car. No good.
B. I am pre-occupied with what I am doing (as I am currently) and I have no convenient, on-hand way of trashing the gum. So I swallow it. (Like I just did.)
That’s enough confessions for one day.
In other news, I am currently cooking and writing alternately, a pastime I used to employ often. It tends to make for frequent subject changes, between stirs and taste tests, or at least somewhat disjointed trains of thought. In addition to this, I just caught a towel on fire. I should probably try and stick to one task at a time.
What else is to be said?
It is so nice to write meanderingly again. I have not created space for this kind of directionless musing in what feels like a very long time. My to-do list over this Christmas break has been what might be called a “fun list,” because it doesn’t quite qualify as a collection of assignments or things that need to be done. Currently, it consists of “paint, crochet, knit, write a letter, write a story, ride a bike.” And maybe “clean the house a little bit.” However, I find that with this kind of space comes a greater depth of thought that fills my world quite sufficiently. Instead of cruising through days spent sleeping too late and thinking too little, I find myself wanting to wake up earlier and spending my time delving into the quandaries and conundrums of the human condition. Is this normal? What kind of college student spends her winter break re-examining her life? I guess this kind does. I wonder if I am alone.
I have just been curious about something. Truly, I have been curious about many things. But one thing in particular is this: are you happy? Is anyone? Does anyone wake up with anticipation for the day ahead of them? Does anyone delight in their existence? Are we satisfied? Are we content?
I ask because I think that this matters. I think we are meant to have fullness in our souls. Augustine, who wrote deeply of his God and of his own soul, wrote “…for you have made us for yourself, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.”
That is certainly something to think about.
I think I am done for now. Except for one beautiful thing.
I found a beautiful song. It is a French children’s song entitled, “A la Claire Fontaine,” the version is by Laure Shang, and it is wonderful. I heard it months ago, but I just now got around to figuring out what it is called and the artist’s name. I don’t speak French at all, but I did look up the lyrics, here is a little taste,
Sing, nightingale, sing,
Your heart is so happy.
Your heart feels like laughing,
Mine feels like weeping.
and the refrain to the poet’s beloved,
So long I’ve been loving you,
I will never forget you.
Listen to it, and love it.
