Peaches & Dreams.

I feel sugary in my soul. Thank you, peaches.

Thought 1: I think that if there could be an internal landscape to my head and heart today, It would look like a storm coming in off the coast of Maine. Quiet, unsettled, crisp, and willing to welcome in any who would brave the storm. There are little pockets of sadness in my heart today, stemming from different places of my life that are less-than-happy. There aren’t many of them, and it isn’t an overwhelming sadness. It’s a calm, sighing sadness that takes up residence so softly that I am not even tempted to ask it to leave. Not yet. It will find the wind and and float away on its own, I think, if given a little bit of time.

Thought 2: I have been so full of words in these last few weeks. Daily, I am writing journal entries, letters, blogs, notes on bulletins, anything that involves me, a thought, and somewhere to put it. Mainly, I’ve been journaling. I wrote. A long message to my best friend Sam, who is in Pennsylvania, and a page of considerings in my journal. It’s a process of processing. It is the unraveling of my tightly-wound mind and heart, so that I may more easily access myself without the barrier of everything I’m thinking about blocking my view.

Thought 3: Along with words, I have been full of questions. The impulse to ask would just spring up from the well of musings in my mind and travel through my mouth into the open air, almost without any conscious approval on my part. In addition to this, I found so many more questions inside myself, rushing to the front of my mind in the sweet silences between conversations. God, and his hands in my life, fill my heart with questions to wrestle with. Not to wrestle down, or to silence, but to fight with, and for, and about.

Thought 4: I feel like making lists.

Things I Am Not A Big Fan Of:

I. Mosquito Bites The Size of A Small Galaxy. Especially during winter. I thought mosquitoes hibernated during the winter.

II. That Sugary-Soul Feeling. Usually, it’s enough to steer me away from any great amount of sugar for the next couple of days. Le yuk.

III. When Drinking Glasses Sweat. I mean, honestly. What do they have to be nervous about? Maybe it’s the perpetual state of absolute openness. Or the all-the-time kissing people, thing. Whatever. It’s annoying, and it makes weird stains on wooden tables.

IV. Still Not Being Out Of School. I don’t even want to talk about it.

And, so we can all smile a little lighter, some happiness.

Things I Like, Absolutely:

A. Stargazing on Fridays. It’s worth the bugs.

B. Warm Pavement and Cold Rain. Possibly one of my favorite feelings ever. If it’s raining hard enough, you can’t even see through the mist of the drops bouncing back off of the ground.

C. Going to Bed Tired. I know now that the reason sleeping used to be harder was because when I said, “I’m not tired!” I meant it. Now that I can wait until sleep sounds like a good idea, my body is much more understanding, usually.

That is all.

See you soon.

Peace in the middle east.
See you ‘rrround.